Normal

I can't even begin to put 2013 into words.

I'm not sure why that is, because technically, nothing crazy happened. It wasn't the year I got married. I didn't birth any babies. No cross-country trips. No first contract.

But it was such a good year. I feel like maybe, just maybe, 2013 was the year I grew up. If you read my last post, you'll kind of see what I mean there.

As today ends and darkness falls in a few hours, bringing with it a new year, a new start, fresh calendar pages to fill, I'm excited.

Because maybe 2014 will be an extraordinary year.

Or maybe it'll just be normal.

And either is okay with me.

Note To Self: Being a Grownup

When does it finally hit you? The fact that you're a "grown-up" now (although according to Gilmore Girls, "grown-ups" don't use the word "grown-ups"). The fact that you're really, truly an adult.

Not old, mind you, despite my sister's accusations yesterday that I shop at a store that's too "old" for her. (And seriously, is Loft too old for anyone???) If she's reading this--please note, my darling sister, that in four years you'll be the age I am now. Every. Single. Year. So be careful. =)

Back to my subject. Seriously, when does grown-up-hood feel real?

I know I'm an adult. I have a toddler playing in one room and a baby sleeping down the hall. Wait. That's not right. My mind is stuck in last year, apparently. I have a preschooler playing in one room and a toddler sleeping down the hall.

Time sneaks by quickly, whether you're watching for it or not.

I was about to go outside today to watch my son play when he got distracted and ran off to his room to play with trains. My mind had already started working on this subject, fueled by too many rainy, contemplative days lately, and by the smell of the coffee I just brewed.

I keep thinking about what it means to be a grown up. Here's the best I've got so far.


Being a grown up means:

1. Realizing that if anyone in your house is sick, YOU are the one who has the clean it and sanitize it from top to bottom. Sad truth? There is no cleaning fairy. Unless you can hire one. In which case, hire one for me too, okay?

2. It's understanding that the life you kept waiting for, hoping it would "start" soon, has already started. And listen to this, friends, because I know we are all in different places in life. IT HAS STARTED NOW. It has started if you're married. If you're single. If you have kids or not. If you have the job you want or not. THIS is life, right here, right now, this moment that you're wondering what to do with. The moment you may be wishing away. Being a grown-up is realizing this is true and doing something with it.

3. If you have a bad attitude, you need to adjust it yourself. Parents were handy for this when we lived with them. Now it's up to you. And Jesus. And coffee.

4. That if you get behind in something, you have to clean up your mess. This goes for dirty dishes, laundry, or anything else more or less serious. I'm not talking about not letting people help you. If someone offers to bail you out in any of these situations, TAKE the offer. But if not, don't whine about it. Just clean it up. You're an adult now. Being messy isn't cute for an adult like it is for a kid.

5. Wanting friends just as much as you did in high school. That feeling of being a new kid in a room full of people when you need a seat at a social gathering will never go away. Unless you're an extrovert or a perpetual popular kid, and if you are then...I have nothing to say to you. ;) Just kidding. We can still be friends. =)

6. It means taking your relationship with Jesus seriously, for yourself and others. For you, because it matters. For others, because they're watching. And they don't know your heart--your actions are how they'll determine how much this matters to you. As a mom, sometimes this encourages me and I think I'm doing it right. Sometimes it scares me to pieces and I want to fix it.

7. Focusing on someone other than yourself. Invest in relationships. Pray for other people.

8. Taking care of yourself. There's a lot of glory in playing the martyr and running yourself ragged while caring for others. Moms are bad about this. But seriously? It's selfish to think of yourself so highly that you think you don't need this. You do. Don't go out and spend money you don't have on a pedicure or a week at the spa but do SOMETHING to take care of yourself. Have some coffee. Take a nap. Watch a movie. Rest. Relax. Be still and know that HE is God. (Which means being still and knowing that HE is in control. Read: YOU are not in control. Me neither. Letting that sink in...)

9. Means realizing that all the grown-ups you've looked up to for your entire life probably didn't "feel" like adults for a lot of that time either. This includes your parents. Weird, huh?

10. I feel like I don't have a #10 yet. So I think that's #10. Realize there are things you don't know. There are things you're still learning. Be okay with that. Keep learning them.

Anything to add?

I'm off to drink more coffee, play with some trains, and keep pondering. Or maybe stop pondering. That may be enough for one day. =)

Roosevelt Lied.

Wasn't it Roosevelt who said "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"?

Yeah, you know what?

He lied.

I realized that tonight, or probably more accurately, God showed me tonight that. It. Is. A. Lie.

Why would we fear fear?  God says in the Bible that "perfect love casts out fear" and I don't see any specifications there that tells us fearing anything (even fear) is okay.

I get it, probably this was just a nice sounding line for a speech and I'm reading too much into it. But it's been quoted so many times I feel like it's stuck in my brain and maybe it's stuck in yours too.

But God doesn't want us to fear. Perfect love, HIS perfect love "casts out fear."

All of it. Whatever you're afraid of.

Including fear itself.

Dorky Confession of the Day

I love the trees on the edges of this blog so much (um, they ARE showing up on everyone else's screen, right? Before I gush and look like even MORE of a dork?) that I keep coming here just to look at it...

I think even though it's simple compared to others (Would the person who designed the Pioneer Woman's website like to do one for me, pro bono...? I'll pay you in peanut brittle, the one candy I can make...) I like it. It makes me happy.

So do these things:

1. My kids.

2. Seeing old friends. (Not that we're old...)

3. Drinking coffee.

4. Being outside.

5. Shopping.

And I get to do all of them today!

Assuming I go dry my hair now so I can leave the house...

What's everyone else up to today?

I'm Cured!

Okay, so I totally figured out what was causing my lack of desire to blog. Are you ready? It's my learning style.

I'm a kinesthetic learner. I learn by doing and my environment really affects me. Back in the old days (haha, a few years ago...) when I was teaching, I had to have my classroom set up and decorated before I could even think about lesson plans. Backwards? Maybe to some people. But to me, it made sense.

Enter this blog.

And technology.

Ahhhh, technology.

I'm a relatively creative person. I mean, I'm a writer, okay? Isn't creativity pretty much required? But I've never been good at designing blogs or making them pretty. My Xanga (haha, remember THOSE?) colors never matched as well as anyone elses. Sure, I've thought about overhauling this blog. I even tried once, to make it reflect my personality better. Or what I was writing. Or something.

And I didn't like it. It looked like someone who doesn't get how to make a blog was doing it. (The shock.)

So tonight on a writer's group I'm part of on facebook, someone else had posted a lot of questions and comments about how to make her blog better. And what can I say? I got inspired.

So here it is, my new(est) blog layout. What do you think?

Sadly, that's all the insight I have for tonight. I have some kind of serious thoughts brewing on a bunch of faith/life related issues. Community. Discipleship. Rest.

Deep stuff. Too deep for almost midnight, so stay tuned, okay?

I Love Being Wrong!

Haha, okay, that's about 1000% un-true. But I was wrong about my book's release date and THAT I am happy to be wrong about.

Treasure Point Secrets (yes, we have an official title!) will be out in MAY. Not June. MAY. Ahhhhh!

I'm lacking focus lately, which is why I haven't been blogging much these days. I am on Scribble Chicks every Friday, and have been having a fabulous time with that. Come visit there!

I'm hoping to work out some kind of blogging schedule. But I'm also hoping to have a menu schedule and tonight for dinner so far I've had...nothing. So you see how good I am at that. =)

Yeah...About That

So this writing thing is full of learning experiences right?

Haha. Yeah.

Turns out my title isn't final yet, so I'm saving that news until I'm sure it IS final. But...drumroll please...

It's set to release (whatever it's called!) in June of 2014. So it's becoming more and more real! Honestly I feel like people keep expecting me to be frustrated that it's taking a little longer than planned, but you know what? Publishing is just like the rest of life. Sometimes it doesn't go as expected. But there's nothing you can do, so you may as well just go with it. That's what I'm doing here. And surprisingly, just knowing it is. really. happening. is making the wait for this one worth it, to me.

I'm hoping it's worth it to you too and that when my thus-far-nameless-book does come out that you'll read it!

So I was thinking this morning about blogging, and my pathetic lack thereof, and I think I'm going to do it like I did my meal plan the other night. I think I'm going to give every day that I plan to blog a different "theme" if you will. Different compartments of my life. I still need to talk about my kids, okay? I'm a mom; it's my perogative. If you don't want to hear about how adorable they are, how much they teach me, then...uh...don't read this? (Wait! I didn't mean it! Come back and read it anyway!). But at the same time I want to spend more focused time talking about my writing too, just because I like sharing with you.

It seems like what I'm learning in different areas of life is my unofficial focus here. Which I guess it okay, right?

Just smile and nod, okay?

Anyway, ideas for things you'd like to read about? My super-interesting meal planning brainstorm? My favorite way to plot a novel? The weird quirks that have to be just right before I can write anything?

Off to drink my coffee before it gets cold again. I've already reheated it twice...busy morning. =)

Of course, this is my second pot...Haha.