Cloudy Days

We've had more cloudy days lately than I think we've ever had at this time of year. This isn't a huge problem for me--I love cloudy days in winter--but I know some people don't. And to be honest, they even start to get old for me after four days or so.

The weather has a funny way of affecting our moods. When you wake up to sunshine streaming into your eyes, don't you know it's going to be a good day? (after you recover from the slightly rude awakening...) When it's raining outside and has been for days, doesn't your mood suffer a little bit?

I was reading a friend's blog today and she'd written about complaining and cynicism. Ouch! I didn't ask for that kind of conviction! I was looking for lunch hour entertainment. But I think God had something to remind me of through it, and I wanted to pass it along just in case you need reminding too.

Our mood shouldn't be dictated by our circumstances. I'm not even talking our spiritual, inner, Christian "joy". I'm talking about our mood. Just because you're having a bad day doesn't mean you should be grumpy and ruin the day of those around you. You have to make an effort to shift your attitude when you don't feel like it, but it's worth it. I guarentee the people you come into contact with every day will think so.

So...whether it's cloudy where you are or not, don't let your mood me affected. Be happy--or at least content--anyway.

Fall Cleaning?

Well, I finally did it.  I broke out of my comfort zone, listened to God (what a novel concept...) and decided that it was time to open my home to people from the church.

So far it's gone pretty well.  People are extraordinarily curious about a pastor's home.  Who knew?  I've had people asking those who have been here to give them details about what our house looks like, and someone even requested pictures.  :)  

All that said, I decided it was time to clean my house.  And not just vacuum and dust like I do three times a week already--if by three times a week you mean three times a month.  I decided it's time to rid myself of the clutter and make the house functionally clean so that if someone from church DOES stop by unannounced, I won't have to close the blinds and hide under my dining room table.

So today, September 12th, I declare official fall cleaning day.  My sister challenged people on her blog to give up something you spend too much money on (Starbucks, anyone?).  I'm adapting her idea here.  Look around your house.  I know we all struggle with clutter.  What do you have tucked away in corners that you're never going to need again?  The TV Guide from 1989?  Shoes that don't fit you?  A sweater that went of style long ago--if it ever was in style to begin with?  We collect different useless things.  What are yours?  How can you use this fall to get rid of them so that when it's winter and it's time to just spend time inside, snuggled in your living room in front of the fire with a book and a cup of tea, you'll be able to relax and not be distracted by the mess?

Happy cleaning!  And happy fall!  Bring on the cool weather...

Accountability and Honesty

It's so hard sometimes to find people to encourage you and lift you up in prayer when you're a pastor's wife--or really anyone in a leadership role.  How do we walk that delicate line between being "real" and still being the example that it seems some people really see us as (whether they always should or not)?  

I'm a member of an online group for pastor's wives, and I love it.  It's so encouraging to just talk about anything and everything without anyone knowing details about who you are, where you live, or what your church situation is like.  It's free from judgement, where real life is not always.  Well, a few ladies from this group got together a couple weeks ago and decided to have an accountability group.  We're helping each other stay on top of quiet times, prayer times, and other times with God that should be at the top of our priority lists but often slip further towards the bottom, whether because of business, being busy "doing" things for God, or other things in life that distract us.  It's been great so far, being able to admit that I'm human, that I have shortcomings, and that I need prayer.  

Those of you who may read this and aren't pastors wives, you'd be surprised how many struggle with having a daily quiet time.  I talk to my hubby about this, and he said it made perfect sense--not only are pw's often busy, but satan will look for ways to destroy a ministry in any way he can.  Every day that I am not walking with God as a should, satan is getting a small victory that may show in different ways--me not prioritizing, being grumpy with hubby because I haven't been close to God lately, being too focusing on works and not faith--we have to be so careful.

All this is to say--you're not alone if you struggle with this or anything else.  I love that song by Casting Crowns, "Stained Glass Masquerade".  If you haven't heard it, go listen on youtube.  It too often describes the state of our churches.  Make an effort this week to be diligent in your walk with God, and to resist the urge to shoot the wounded Christians you may encounter, but instead to encourage them that no one is perfect, to keep trying and not give up, and to continue to pray for them.  

Lighten Your Mood 101

So one of my friends today was brainstorming a list of things she could send me to remind me that it's okay to be a little bit crazy, even when you're a pastors wife.  Nothing super rebellious (which is good--I'm certainly not advocating rebellion since God definitely seems to be against it), but a lot of funny things.  Here a couple of her ideas...

1.  Bright colored nail polish (I admit I have painted my nails blue before the intention of wearing it to church to see what the older women in our congregation would have to say, but it looked awful.)

2.  Loud, clunky jewelry.

I feel like either of those would lighten my mood on some days when I just want to find some curtains for this fishbowl where I live and make everyone stop looking at me.  If you're not a pastors wife--laugh, be entertained.  And maybe think about buying your pastors wife some bright nail polish (she can at least wear it on her toenails) if she seems to be having a bad day.  

If you are a pastor's wife--I also highly recommend red high heels.  Not only does it make you feel tall and bold, they're also super cute.

Alright, here's your turn.  Does anyone have other ideas of silly little things women can do to have a little harmless fun and quit taking themselves too seriously?

The Face I Don't See in the Mirror

            I can see her in my mind.  The perfect pastor’s wife.  She’s about five foot four, petite, with perfectly styled blond hair and a sweet smile.

            She looks nothing like me.

            But when I married my husband last year and he became the pastor of a little church in our small southern town, I became a pastors wife. 

            I do believe that was the moment when the world stopped spinning normally on its axis. 

            I love being a pastor’s wife.  I also love being me.  Sometimes it seems like the two won’t fit together, and a struggle ensues inside of me.  I fight with expectations—my own are usually the worst—and strive to live life in a way that pleases God and makes everyone other individual on the planet happy as well. 

            I know I’m not the only one who does this.  Pastors wife or not, all of us have felt expectations.  There are articles online, in women’s magazines, in the newspaper, everywhere we’re seeing the struggle of women to accomplish the most incredible task—being herself.  It seems like something that sounds so easy should be, well, easy.  Why isn’t it, do you think?

            This blog is about my life as more than a stereotype.  It's about having the courage to be espresso in a latte world.

    I know I'm not the only one on this journey--so join me.  I'd love to hear your stories, too.