Accountability and Honesty

It's so hard sometimes to find people to encourage you and lift you up in prayer when you're a pastor's wife--or really anyone in a leadership role.  How do we walk that delicate line between being "real" and still being the example that it seems some people really see us as (whether they always should or not)?  

I'm a member of an online group for pastor's wives, and I love it.  It's so encouraging to just talk about anything and everything without anyone knowing details about who you are, where you live, or what your church situation is like.  It's free from judgement, where real life is not always.  Well, a few ladies from this group got together a couple weeks ago and decided to have an accountability group.  We're helping each other stay on top of quiet times, prayer times, and other times with God that should be at the top of our priority lists but often slip further towards the bottom, whether because of business, being busy "doing" things for God, or other things in life that distract us.  It's been great so far, being able to admit that I'm human, that I have shortcomings, and that I need prayer.  

Those of you who may read this and aren't pastors wives, you'd be surprised how many struggle with having a daily quiet time.  I talk to my hubby about this, and he said it made perfect sense--not only are pw's often busy, but satan will look for ways to destroy a ministry in any way he can.  Every day that I am not walking with God as a should, satan is getting a small victory that may show in different ways--me not prioritizing, being grumpy with hubby because I haven't been close to God lately, being too focusing on works and not faith--we have to be so careful.

All this is to say--you're not alone if you struggle with this or anything else.  I love that song by Casting Crowns, "Stained Glass Masquerade".  If you haven't heard it, go listen on youtube.  It too often describes the state of our churches.  Make an effort this week to be diligent in your walk with God, and to resist the urge to shoot the wounded Christians you may encounter, but instead to encourage them that no one is perfect, to keep trying and not give up, and to continue to pray for them.  

Lighten Your Mood 101

So one of my friends today was brainstorming a list of things she could send me to remind me that it's okay to be a little bit crazy, even when you're a pastors wife.  Nothing super rebellious (which is good--I'm certainly not advocating rebellion since God definitely seems to be against it), but a lot of funny things.  Here a couple of her ideas...

1.  Bright colored nail polish (I admit I have painted my nails blue before the intention of wearing it to church to see what the older women in our congregation would have to say, but it looked awful.)

2.  Loud, clunky jewelry.

I feel like either of those would lighten my mood on some days when I just want to find some curtains for this fishbowl where I live and make everyone stop looking at me.  If you're not a pastors wife--laugh, be entertained.  And maybe think about buying your pastors wife some bright nail polish (she can at least wear it on her toenails) if she seems to be having a bad day.  

If you are a pastor's wife--I also highly recommend red high heels.  Not only does it make you feel tall and bold, they're also super cute.

Alright, here's your turn.  Does anyone have other ideas of silly little things women can do to have a little harmless fun and quit taking themselves too seriously?

The Face I Don't See in the Mirror

            I can see her in my mind.  The perfect pastor’s wife.  She’s about five foot four, petite, with perfectly styled blond hair and a sweet smile.

            She looks nothing like me.

            But when I married my husband last year and he became the pastor of a little church in our small southern town, I became a pastors wife. 

            I do believe that was the moment when the world stopped spinning normally on its axis. 

            I love being a pastor’s wife.  I also love being me.  Sometimes it seems like the two won’t fit together, and a struggle ensues inside of me.  I fight with expectations—my own are usually the worst—and strive to live life in a way that pleases God and makes everyone other individual on the planet happy as well. 

            I know I’m not the only one who does this.  Pastors wife or not, all of us have felt expectations.  There are articles online, in women’s magazines, in the newspaper, everywhere we’re seeing the struggle of women to accomplish the most incredible task—being herself.  It seems like something that sounds so easy should be, well, easy.  Why isn’t it, do you think?

            This blog is about my life as more than a stereotype.  It's about having the courage to be espresso in a latte world.

    I know I'm not the only one on this journey--so join me.  I'd love to hear your stories, too.