AHHHHHHH!!!!!
AHHHHHHH!!!!!
AHHHHHHH!!!!!
I keep trying to think of something to say, to update you, let you know we are supposed to be leaving in 2 HOURS.
But all that comes out is AHHHHHHH!!!!
Excitement? Totally wondering what we are thinking? More excitement.
Yes.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Here We Go!
Testing 1-2-3.
Facebook world, blogosphere, anyone else...Here's your big chance to make sure you don't miss my Alaska Trip 2014 photos and updates, also known henceforth as Crazy Alaska Road Trip Take 2 or CARTT2. =)
Seriously, though? When we packed four adults and a 12 month old into an RV in 2011, I think we thought we were a little crazy to be driving 8,000 miles round trip. I think everyone else thought that too.
But why not take it a step further, right? This year the plan is to pack four adults, a four year old, and a twenty-one month old into a crew cab F-150, pulling a camper and packing a tent.
Go ahead and let that soak in for a minute.
We are ridiculously excited, crazy busy packing, and desperately wondering how to get a house clean to prepare for being gone for a month with two little people here to "help."
But I wanted to take a quick break to let you know my blog address again, to tell you that I'm planning to update daily (with pictures this year, really!!) and that I think should follow us. And comment. Because I love comments and I blog more when I get comments.
(In the words of one of my college professors "somebody please affirm me!!!")
Thanks for reading and hopefully keeping up with us during our trip!
Facebook world, blogosphere, anyone else...Here's your big chance to make sure you don't miss my Alaska Trip 2014 photos and updates, also known henceforth as Crazy Alaska Road Trip Take 2 or CARTT2. =)
Seriously, though? When we packed four adults and a 12 month old into an RV in 2011, I think we thought we were a little crazy to be driving 8,000 miles round trip. I think everyone else thought that too.
But why not take it a step further, right? This year the plan is to pack four adults, a four year old, and a twenty-one month old into a crew cab F-150, pulling a camper and packing a tent.
Go ahead and let that soak in for a minute.
We are ridiculously excited, crazy busy packing, and desperately wondering how to get a house clean to prepare for being gone for a month with two little people here to "help."
But I wanted to take a quick break to let you know my blog address again, to tell you that I'm planning to update daily (with pictures this year, really!!) and that I think should follow us. And comment. Because I love comments and I blog more when I get comments.
(In the words of one of my college professors "somebody please affirm me!!!")
Thanks for reading and hopefully keeping up with us during our trip!
Friday, May 23, 2014
Hey Y'all!
I have a post brewing in my mind...but until then, I blogged today at Scribble Chicks and my friend Jaime kicked off hers, our friend Laurie, and my new blog The Naptime Novelists .
Check those out!
Check those out!
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Look Around
We can be seriously oblivious, can't we?
Since our third baby went to heaven at 13 weeks gestation last month, I feel like I've been seeing life differently. Sad fact I learned? I have been very, very selfish. I usually think of myself as one of the most empathetic people I know. Sometimes I feel emotions for other people to an extreme degree.
But sometimes? I have been selfish. I haven't wanted to know what people's hurts felt like, how my facebook statuses might make them feel, haven't wanted to know the bittersweet feelings that come when you learn of other people's happiness.
Sometimes we face sadness in life. Expectations that go unfulfilled. Dreams that don't come true. Babies that you're expecting and then...unexpecting, at least this side of heaven.
Is that hard?
Yes.
But what I've realized is that life moves on, and other people are still hurting. And celebrating. And despite what I am going through, I need to do both of those things with the other people in my life.
Am I over-the-moon excited for you when you post a pregnancy announcement and let your friends know your good news. Yes. A thousand times yes. Please post those announcements.
Does a part of my heart sting when I think about how close our babies would have been if mine hadn't gone to heaven before she could even be born?
...Yes.
But it's funny. Having that baby as a part of my life has taught me something, something I alluded to in my last post because I've found it to be true in so many areas over the last few weeks. We are never alone. It's easy in situations like this to get inward focused. It's somewhat justified. After all, we are hurting and I'm not suggesting we ignore that. But only having an inward focus isn't healthy. It's selfish.
My heart may sting when I read pregnancy announcements. And it would be easy to stop there, cry, make myself some hot chocolate, and focus on myself.
But what about my friends who dream of having their own family and aren't married yet? What about my friends who pray and cry and long for a baby and haven't had that prayer answered with a "yes" yet? What about my friends with babies they are waiting to adopt, who are stuck thousands of miles away from little ones who are legally theirs, who still can't take them home yet? (Yes, that last one happens, is happening right now.)
Other people are hurting too.
And you know what? You might not even realize it. You might have passed them at the grocery store this morning and thought they looked normal and never, ever realized what they are going through right now.
But when you hurt, please it's not just you.
It's not just me either.
Whether it seems big to you or small, when compared to your circumstances, many people are hurting in some way.
Want to know what else I've realized lately while you're letting that last truth sink in? Maybe thinking about others hurting makes you want to minister to them in some way. But guess what...They aren't going to share with you when they are hurting and let you help them carry that burden unless you are willing to share your burden with them and let them cry with you.
Look around. I'm not saying we have to dwell on the hurts in life. Celebrate with those who are celebrating. Please don't let your sorrows crowd in on their celebration.
But also be ready to cry with those who are crying. Hurt with those who are hurting.
And let them do that with you too.
Since our third baby went to heaven at 13 weeks gestation last month, I feel like I've been seeing life differently. Sad fact I learned? I have been very, very selfish. I usually think of myself as one of the most empathetic people I know. Sometimes I feel emotions for other people to an extreme degree.
But sometimes? I have been selfish. I haven't wanted to know what people's hurts felt like, how my facebook statuses might make them feel, haven't wanted to know the bittersweet feelings that come when you learn of other people's happiness.
Sometimes we face sadness in life. Expectations that go unfulfilled. Dreams that don't come true. Babies that you're expecting and then...unexpecting, at least this side of heaven.
Is that hard?
Yes.
But what I've realized is that life moves on, and other people are still hurting. And celebrating. And despite what I am going through, I need to do both of those things with the other people in my life.
Am I over-the-moon excited for you when you post a pregnancy announcement and let your friends know your good news. Yes. A thousand times yes. Please post those announcements.
Does a part of my heart sting when I think about how close our babies would have been if mine hadn't gone to heaven before she could even be born?
...Yes.
But it's funny. Having that baby as a part of my life has taught me something, something I alluded to in my last post because I've found it to be true in so many areas over the last few weeks. We are never alone. It's easy in situations like this to get inward focused. It's somewhat justified. After all, we are hurting and I'm not suggesting we ignore that. But only having an inward focus isn't healthy. It's selfish.
My heart may sting when I read pregnancy announcements. And it would be easy to stop there, cry, make myself some hot chocolate, and focus on myself.
But what about my friends who dream of having their own family and aren't married yet? What about my friends who pray and cry and long for a baby and haven't had that prayer answered with a "yes" yet? What about my friends with babies they are waiting to adopt, who are stuck thousands of miles away from little ones who are legally theirs, who still can't take them home yet? (Yes, that last one happens, is happening right now.)
Other people are hurting too.
And you know what? You might not even realize it. You might have passed them at the grocery store this morning and thought they looked normal and never, ever realized what they are going through right now.
But when you hurt, please it's not just you.
It's not just me either.
Whether it seems big to you or small, when compared to your circumstances, many people are hurting in some way.
Want to know what else I've realized lately while you're letting that last truth sink in? Maybe thinking about others hurting makes you want to minister to them in some way. But guess what...They aren't going to share with you when they are hurting and let you help them carry that burden unless you are willing to share your burden with them and let them cry with you.
Look around. I'm not saying we have to dwell on the hurts in life. Celebrate with those who are celebrating. Please don't let your sorrows crowd in on their celebration.
But also be ready to cry with those who are crying. Hurt with those who are hurting.
And let them do that with you too.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
In Explanation of My Facebook Status.
Confession.
I'm not sure I'm going to publish this post.
But I have things on my mind today...and who am I kidding, I am going to share this, even if I don't really want to, because what if you're struggling with the same things I am? What if you're wondering about this to? What if...it's not just me? Not just you.
It's not, by the way. I've decided that's one of Satan's favorite lies, telling us that we are the only ones who feel this way. That we are alone. Isolated. That what we're going through is somehow something that no one else on this earth can relate to.
Think about it.
I'm digressing already. Today I'm thinking about the Proverbs 31 woman. Ah, the perfect topic, right? Here's where I launch into telling you about the laundry I've done this morning, and how I made crayons from scratch and fabricated my own paper so my children could color, and how I already have dinner planned for the next 387986786 nights.
Haha, just kidding.
I did unload the dishwasher this morning, but that's pretty much it.
You know what, though? I think we focus on the certain parts of this chapter more than others. It's not uncommon for women to be perfectionists, to be overachievers. We like measurable goals so we can say "hey, see what a good job I did?" And so even when we focus on the verses about what the Proverbs 31 woman does, in a way, we like to do that. It's safe for us. It's something everyone can see, whether or not you're productive. No one is hiding that.
Look at Proverbs 31:25. I'm using the NLT here, because I think it really catches me off guard and makes me think. "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."
Can we be honest now? Do you? Do you laugh without fear of the future? Without worrying about the what-ifs? Do you laugh at all, or are you so busy trying to be the "perfect" woman that you miss the fact that this verse is included at all?
Part of me wants to argue with this verse. Surely this woman being described is intelligent. Doesn't she get that sometimes the future is worth worrying over? Okay, maybe not, worry is a sin. At the very least, doesn't she understand that sometimes laughter is irresponsible? What, does she have her head in the sand?
No. No. No.
This verse is harder to explain away, harder to ignore to me than all of the verses that precede it that we keep trying to live up to (oftentimes in a way that's unrealistic, but there I go, digressing again). But I think it's part of what sets a woman of God apart from the seemingly "perfect" put together, laundry doing, candle making women who can accomplish so much even while they don't have God in their lives.
It's something on our insides.
You can fake a laugh.
You can do a zillion dishes.
But in your heart, are you truly able to laugh without fear of the future?
Why? Why not?
I think maybe even more than our pretty dishes, than our doing all the things we've pinned on pinterest, more than us only serving our kids organic chicken nuggets and greeting our husbands every day with a cold glass of sweet tea and a ribbon in our hair...God cares about our hearts.
About what's inside.
About our ability to laugh. Freely.
Fearlessly.
I'm not sure I'm going to publish this post.
But I have things on my mind today...and who am I kidding, I am going to share this, even if I don't really want to, because what if you're struggling with the same things I am? What if you're wondering about this to? What if...it's not just me? Not just you.
It's not, by the way. I've decided that's one of Satan's favorite lies, telling us that we are the only ones who feel this way. That we are alone. Isolated. That what we're going through is somehow something that no one else on this earth can relate to.
Think about it.
I'm digressing already. Today I'm thinking about the Proverbs 31 woman. Ah, the perfect topic, right? Here's where I launch into telling you about the laundry I've done this morning, and how I made crayons from scratch and fabricated my own paper so my children could color, and how I already have dinner planned for the next 387986786 nights.
Haha, just kidding.
I did unload the dishwasher this morning, but that's pretty much it.
You know what, though? I think we focus on the certain parts of this chapter more than others. It's not uncommon for women to be perfectionists, to be overachievers. We like measurable goals so we can say "hey, see what a good job I did?" And so even when we focus on the verses about what the Proverbs 31 woman does, in a way, we like to do that. It's safe for us. It's something everyone can see, whether or not you're productive. No one is hiding that.
Look at Proverbs 31:25. I'm using the NLT here, because I think it really catches me off guard and makes me think. "She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."
Can we be honest now? Do you? Do you laugh without fear of the future? Without worrying about the what-ifs? Do you laugh at all, or are you so busy trying to be the "perfect" woman that you miss the fact that this verse is included at all?
Part of me wants to argue with this verse. Surely this woman being described is intelligent. Doesn't she get that sometimes the future is worth worrying over? Okay, maybe not, worry is a sin. At the very least, doesn't she understand that sometimes laughter is irresponsible? What, does she have her head in the sand?
No. No. No.
This verse is harder to explain away, harder to ignore to me than all of the verses that precede it that we keep trying to live up to (oftentimes in a way that's unrealistic, but there I go, digressing again). But I think it's part of what sets a woman of God apart from the seemingly "perfect" put together, laundry doing, candle making women who can accomplish so much even while they don't have God in their lives.
It's something on our insides.
You can fake a laugh.
You can do a zillion dishes.
But in your heart, are you truly able to laugh without fear of the future?
Why? Why not?
I think maybe even more than our pretty dishes, than our doing all the things we've pinned on pinterest, more than us only serving our kids organic chicken nuggets and greeting our husbands every day with a cold glass of sweet tea and a ribbon in our hair...God cares about our hearts.
About what's inside.
About our ability to laugh. Freely.
Fearlessly.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Normal
I can't even begin to put 2013 into words.
I'm not sure why that is, because technically, nothing crazy happened. It wasn't the year I got married. I didn't birth any babies. No cross-country trips. No first contract.
But it was such a good year. I feel like maybe, just maybe, 2013 was the year I grew up. If you read my last post, you'll kind of see what I mean there.
As today ends and darkness falls in a few hours, bringing with it a new year, a new start, fresh calendar pages to fill, I'm excited.
Because maybe 2014 will be an extraordinary year.
Or maybe it'll just be normal.
And either is okay with me.
I'm not sure why that is, because technically, nothing crazy happened. It wasn't the year I got married. I didn't birth any babies. No cross-country trips. No first contract.
But it was such a good year. I feel like maybe, just maybe, 2013 was the year I grew up. If you read my last post, you'll kind of see what I mean there.
As today ends and darkness falls in a few hours, bringing with it a new year, a new start, fresh calendar pages to fill, I'm excited.
Because maybe 2014 will be an extraordinary year.
Or maybe it'll just be normal.
And either is okay with me.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Note To Self: Being a Grownup
When does it finally hit you? The fact that you're a "grown-up" now (although according to Gilmore Girls, "grown-ups" don't use the word "grown-ups"). The fact that you're really, truly an adult.
Not old, mind you, despite my sister's accusations yesterday that I shop at a store that's too "old" for her. (And seriously, is Loft too old for anyone???) If she's reading this--please note, my darling sister, that in four years you'll be the age I am now. Every. Single. Year. So be careful. =)
Back to my subject. Seriously, when does grown-up-hood feel real?
I know I'm an adult. I have a toddler playing in one room and a baby sleeping down the hall. Wait. That's not right. My mind is stuck in last year, apparently. I have a preschooler playing in one room and a toddler sleeping down the hall.
Time sneaks by quickly, whether you're watching for it or not.
I was about to go outside today to watch my son play when he got distracted and ran off to his room to play with trains. My mind had already started working on this subject, fueled by too many rainy, contemplative days lately, and by the smell of the coffee I just brewed.
I keep thinking about what it means to be a grown up. Here's the best I've got so far.
Being a grown up means:
1. Realizing that if anyone in your house is sick, YOU are the one who has the clean it and sanitize it from top to bottom. Sad truth? There is no cleaning fairy. Unless you can hire one. In which case, hire one for me too, okay?
2. It's understanding that the life you kept waiting for, hoping it would "start" soon, has already started. And listen to this, friends, because I know we are all in different places in life. IT HAS STARTED NOW. It has started if you're married. If you're single. If you have kids or not. If you have the job you want or not. THIS is life, right here, right now, this moment that you're wondering what to do with. The moment you may be wishing away. Being a grown-up is realizing this is true and doing something with it.
3. If you have a bad attitude, you need to adjust it yourself. Parents were handy for this when we lived with them. Now it's up to you. And Jesus. And coffee.
4. That if you get behind in something, you have to clean up your mess. This goes for dirty dishes, laundry, or anything else more or less serious. I'm not talking about not letting people help you. If someone offers to bail you out in any of these situations, TAKE the offer. But if not, don't whine about it. Just clean it up. You're an adult now. Being messy isn't cute for an adult like it is for a kid.
5. Wanting friends just as much as you did in high school. That feeling of being a new kid in a room full of people when you need a seat at a social gathering will never go away. Unless you're an extrovert or a perpetual popular kid, and if you are then...I have nothing to say to you. ;) Just kidding. We can still be friends. =)
6. It means taking your relationship with Jesus seriously, for yourself and others. For you, because it matters. For others, because they're watching. And they don't know your heart--your actions are how they'll determine how much this matters to you. As a mom, sometimes this encourages me and I think I'm doing it right. Sometimes it scares me to pieces and I want to fix it.
7. Focusing on someone other than yourself. Invest in relationships. Pray for other people.
8. Taking care of yourself. There's a lot of glory in playing the martyr and running yourself ragged while caring for others. Moms are bad about this. But seriously? It's selfish to think of yourself so highly that you think you don't need this. You do. Don't go out and spend money you don't have on a pedicure or a week at the spa but do SOMETHING to take care of yourself. Have some coffee. Take a nap. Watch a movie. Rest. Relax. Be still and know that HE is God. (Which means being still and knowing that HE is in control. Read: YOU are not in control. Me neither. Letting that sink in...)
9. Means realizing that all the grown-ups you've looked up to for your entire life probably didn't "feel" like adults for a lot of that time either. This includes your parents. Weird, huh?
10. I feel like I don't have a #10 yet. So I think that's #10. Realize there are things you don't know. There are things you're still learning. Be okay with that. Keep learning them.
Anything to add?
I'm off to drink more coffee, play with some trains, and keep pondering. Or maybe stop pondering. That may be enough for one day. =)
Not old, mind you, despite my sister's accusations yesterday that I shop at a store that's too "old" for her. (And seriously, is Loft too old for anyone???) If she's reading this--please note, my darling sister, that in four years you'll be the age I am now. Every. Single. Year. So be careful. =)
Back to my subject. Seriously, when does grown-up-hood feel real?
I know I'm an adult. I have a toddler playing in one room and a baby sleeping down the hall. Wait. That's not right. My mind is stuck in last year, apparently. I have a preschooler playing in one room and a toddler sleeping down the hall.
Time sneaks by quickly, whether you're watching for it or not.
I was about to go outside today to watch my son play when he got distracted and ran off to his room to play with trains. My mind had already started working on this subject, fueled by too many rainy, contemplative days lately, and by the smell of the coffee I just brewed.
I keep thinking about what it means to be a grown up. Here's the best I've got so far.
Being a grown up means:
1. Realizing that if anyone in your house is sick, YOU are the one who has the clean it and sanitize it from top to bottom. Sad truth? There is no cleaning fairy. Unless you can hire one. In which case, hire one for me too, okay?
2. It's understanding that the life you kept waiting for, hoping it would "start" soon, has already started. And listen to this, friends, because I know we are all in different places in life. IT HAS STARTED NOW. It has started if you're married. If you're single. If you have kids or not. If you have the job you want or not. THIS is life, right here, right now, this moment that you're wondering what to do with. The moment you may be wishing away. Being a grown-up is realizing this is true and doing something with it.
3. If you have a bad attitude, you need to adjust it yourself. Parents were handy for this when we lived with them. Now it's up to you. And Jesus. And coffee.
4. That if you get behind in something, you have to clean up your mess. This goes for dirty dishes, laundry, or anything else more or less serious. I'm not talking about not letting people help you. If someone offers to bail you out in any of these situations, TAKE the offer. But if not, don't whine about it. Just clean it up. You're an adult now. Being messy isn't cute for an adult like it is for a kid.
5. Wanting friends just as much as you did in high school. That feeling of being a new kid in a room full of people when you need a seat at a social gathering will never go away. Unless you're an extrovert or a perpetual popular kid, and if you are then...I have nothing to say to you. ;) Just kidding. We can still be friends. =)
6. It means taking your relationship with Jesus seriously, for yourself and others. For you, because it matters. For others, because they're watching. And they don't know your heart--your actions are how they'll determine how much this matters to you. As a mom, sometimes this encourages me and I think I'm doing it right. Sometimes it scares me to pieces and I want to fix it.
7. Focusing on someone other than yourself. Invest in relationships. Pray for other people.
8. Taking care of yourself. There's a lot of glory in playing the martyr and running yourself ragged while caring for others. Moms are bad about this. But seriously? It's selfish to think of yourself so highly that you think you don't need this. You do. Don't go out and spend money you don't have on a pedicure or a week at the spa but do SOMETHING to take care of yourself. Have some coffee. Take a nap. Watch a movie. Rest. Relax. Be still and know that HE is God. (Which means being still and knowing that HE is in control. Read: YOU are not in control. Me neither. Letting that sink in...)
9. Means realizing that all the grown-ups you've looked up to for your entire life probably didn't "feel" like adults for a lot of that time either. This includes your parents. Weird, huh?
10. I feel like I don't have a #10 yet. So I think that's #10. Realize there are things you don't know. There are things you're still learning. Be okay with that. Keep learning them.
Anything to add?
I'm off to drink more coffee, play with some trains, and keep pondering. Or maybe stop pondering. That may be enough for one day. =)
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